The Papa John's Pizza company is partnering with Universal
Studios Home Entertainment to offer $3.00 off the
much anticipated "King Kong" DVD, in stores next week. And starting now, you can also visit their website to see exclusive sneak peeks of behind-the-scenes "Kong" production diaries.
Oh, they also evidently have a new pizza named after Kong, which I guess is the whole point, or at least their main point. After all, you don't send out a press release to announce a discount on another company's product, unless you've got something to sell yourself.
So, if you need to satisfy a "Kong-sized hunger" you may indeed enjoy their new "Kong-sized specialty pizza." The thirteen dollar pizza will be thirty percent larger
than the chain's "large" pizza, but will in fact be much smaller than Kong himself, despite the "Kong-sized" description.
So much for truth in advertising.
The pizza will be delivered with an "instant rebate coupon" good for $3.00 off the "King Kong" DVD, although they're not saying if the coupon can be used to purchase all versions of the hit film ("Kong" will be released in three separate versions) or if it's a store coupon or a mail-in rebate (in which case, I guess, it couldn't really be called "instant").
The pizza goes on sale March 27th, one day before the DVD, but they're actually taking pre-orders for the the damn thing now.
And why not? Who among us can resist a "Kong-sized specialty pizza" topped
with "oversized versions" of "quality pepperoni" and
"Italian sausage," especially when it's "covered with 100% real cheese?"
"Tapping into America's love affair with pizza and DVDs is a
great way for us to reinforce our "better ingredients, better pizza
message," said Jim Ensign, Papa John's Vice President, Marketing
Communications in a prepared statement. "This promotion is all about BIG pizza, BIG toppings,
BIG taste and BIG entertainment."
Well that may be so, Jim. But if you really want to send a "better ingredients, better pizza message," you may wish to reconsider naming your product after a BIG hairy scary beast, however beloved he may be by the moviegoing public.
You see, a pepperoni pizza has pepperoni on it and a sausage pizza has sausage on it, so a "Kong" pizza must have some sort of Kong meat on it, no? I'm sure it's Papa John's quality better Kong meat, what with your emphasis on using only "better ingredients" and all, but it's still Kong meat.
OK, Jim, I know that it probably doesn't really have actual Kong meat on it because A) he's a fictional character, B) it would probably cost a lot more than thirteen dollars and C) I just read the press release and I think it might have mentioned Kong meat somewhere in there if it were true... unless you really buried the lead.
But I'm still thinking a lot about a pizza made with bits and pieces of the savage gorilla.
And I suspect that many of your customers will think the same thing. Especially
kids, who may not be as quick to recognize that "Kong-sized" just means
"BIG" in Papa John's marketing speak.
Back when David Letterman was still doing a 12:30 show on NBC, the McDonald's hamburger chain introduced a new product called Chicken McNuggets. Dave wondered out loud - and I'm paraphrasing here - "if there were a part of the chicken that could accurately be called the nugget, would you want to eat it?"
Nobody wants to eat a "Kong" pizza, even if it's served with fava beans and washed down with a nice Chianti.
I don't know how they do it down in Louisville, Jim, but here at the DVD Dossier, we tend to shy away from eating our favorite movie stars, even for promotional purposes.
We passed on the Bambi Burgers that were offered up by Disney not long ago and when Dreamworks came by with their Shrek Sausages, we did our best Nancy Reagan impression and just said, "No."
(We will admit, however, to being partial to marzipan in the shape of small pigs from the Elk Candy Company, but that's a whole different story.)
[Previously: Lord of the King (Kong); Kongzilla]